Damn it. Damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it.
OD is down.
And I need it now.
But I can't use it.
And all I have left is here.
But this doesn't belong here.
Although no one freakin' reads me anymore.
*hyperventilating*
I just hate everything right now.
Especially the last few days, and tomorrow.
And I just felt like crying the whole day, and I don't know why, and now it's happening again, and I need to go to bed 'cuz I gotta get up early tomorrow, but I don't want to, I just want to keep typing and typing and typing and typing and ty...
I can't breathe ! I can't breathe !
I don't wanna go to sleep.
I feel dizzy.
And I'm listening to Tori Amos' Love Song and it's making me want to cry even more. Piano-voice arrangements do that to me.
I hate school. I hate me. I hate things you can't get ahold of. I hate scales.
I hate disorders.
I want to breathe.
Damn it, damn it, damn it.
I wish I could cry, maybe it would help.
But I can't. It's just not working.
Of course you cry only when you don't want to.
Can't breathe either.
damnitdamnitdamnitdamnitdamnitdamnitdamnitdamnitdamnitdamnitdamnit
This is not a panic attack. This can't be. I don't have panic attacks.
Here's why hyperventilating is good. It makes you dizzy and you can't think and you can't type so fast anymore, and you can't think that much anymore
But then you stop breathing as you're typing.
And your head gets clear again and you can think again.
But you still can't breathe.
Damn it I don't wanna go to sleep ! I don't ever wanna have to wake up !
Or maybe it would be good. If I could just fall asleep before I can think.
Damn it, damn it, damn it.
Damn it.
That's really all I can think right now.