Rant of the day

I did mention recently that one bad habit I have is asking of others as much as I ask of myself
Example : I do get jealous of others once in a while when something really cool happens to them or something. But I realize that it's jealousy and I don't/try-not-to show it because it's not fair.
And I really would like for everyone to do the same - not specifically about jealousy, just generally.

You know, friendship goes both ways. You can't just keep yourself away from people and just do your thing and expect everyone to want to be your closest friend and adore you. It doesn't work that way. If you don't call people, you can't expect them to call you.

Now I do understand that attitude. The need to "test" your friends, to see what happens if you hide yourself. The hope that they're gonna come running after you, missing you enormously - the need to feel like you're really important to them and that they need you.
But they don't.
I do that. I have this weird, annoying tendency to isolate myself from others, and of course after a while it bothers me that no one is worrying. But, as said above, I know this is just me being stupid and childish and self-centered, and I do not blame them.
And I know that's what you're doing, because I know you. I know that you run from things instead of facing them. I saw you do that several times. And I'm not sure you see it yourself.

You can't "test" people you haven't talked to in lightyears. You can't blame 'em because they didn't come after you... because, what about you ? Did you come after them ?
You can't "test" people you're not close to. And you can't be close to someone to whom you only tell about your job.
Friends aren't people who wanna know about your job. Friends are people who wanna know about you. And maybe that's another thing you don't get : you're not your job.

If you keep waiting for the others to come to you and if you count on them to always be there waiting all the time while you do your own thing, well, you totally missed the point of friendship : it goes both ways. You have the right to ask for friends who are there for you - but they have the right to expect you to do the same.
You got your life - fine, they'll understand that.
But they got their life too. Does it matter to you ? I'm not sure.
I guess it's nice to always have people waiting for you no matter what.
But I'm warning you : you have to know that if you keep going that way, one day, you're gonna turn around, and they're gonna be gone. They'll have moved on with their lives. They'll have gotten tired of not having any attention from you.
The day that happens, think of me.

Let me repeat it : it all goes both ways.

...
You're reading this.
Are you wondering who I'm writing this to ?
Are you wondering if I was thinking about you ? What if I was ? Was I right ?
If you're feeling concerned by this, maybe there's a reason... doesn't mean I was thinking about you. Maybe it's the echo of what someone has already told you...

Another thing I ask of people is to try to get why others see them in a certain way - for example, if I call you selfish, I don't want you to keep denying it and be mad at me just because "no I'm not you're just stupid and I won't ever talk to you again, if you were my friend you wouldn't tell me that". I want you to think about it and try to figure out why. And if you come to realize that you are selfish, admit it, if not to others, at least to yourself.

So. Maybe I wasn't even thinking of anybody in particular. Maybe it was about some character from a book or a movie.
Maybe it wasn't.
Maybe it was about you.
What do you think ? Do you hate me now ? Do you think you shouldn't ever so much as look at me again ?

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You know it's getting late when I start posting such thoughts.
But hey. At least I do think. :)

Tweety - si tu comprends d'où ça venait, j'aimerais savoir ce que tu en penses ?