I don't know what I left unclear when I said that I was my own top priority and that my job wasn't to ease things for anybody other than myself.... and I thought I was doing more than enough to still make things as smooth as possible for everybody, but it seemed not everybody wanted things to be smooth, and well, it was not my problem.

It wasn't exactly meant to be clear when I wrote that a lot remained to be broken, but my intention was to say that I'm going to do my fucking best not to break what remains but if it turns out those remains are putting me down, because I am my own top priority and nobody but myself gets to break me down, I will go to great extents and make great sacrifices to ensure my own protection and I will smash what's left to pieces if it is what I have to do.

I always was all right once I knew what to do next, because pain loses its grasp when it's confronted by logic, especially in situations where every solution causes more pain - and I will go with the solution that causes me the least pain because going the other way around isn't worth the drama.

I took on as much pain as I possibly could in order to spare you, you have no idea and probably never will know, and I don't care whether or not it was worth it - but now I'm resigning.

I said I'm settled.
I said I know where I'm going.
I said it's over. Deal with it. Move the fuck on. Mind your own fucking castle. Our lives were entangled once and I thought we had established by now that it was probably the greatest mistake we could make - and if it's hard to accept what "getting rid of the scum" meant for me, it doesn't change a thing and you can't hold me back anymore.