Note to self: buy a bunch of chocolate-dipped coffee beans to keep at work for emergencies such as this, when I can't operate properly because I'm too tired, when I somehow thought I didn't need a coffee this morning, when it's too fucking cold outside for me to gather the required motivation to get out and get one and when I'm working on a document which I personally believe was written by a turkey.

Did you know supposedly if you leave a turkey out in the rain and it looks up, it's so stupid it's gonna drown? I didn't before yesterday. Fucking funny.

How am I gonna make it through the day?