It's only yesterday that it finally hit me: not everyone goes straightforward about things. My way of trying to keep things together is to ask; but it's not everyone's, and it certainly couldn't be yours.

All this time, I thought I was the only one wasting my energy so things wouldn't change, the only one begging for a little stability.

All this time, I thought you were simply an idiot. All this time, I wanted to hate you for everything you tried to force me to do as you refused to see that I simply couldn't do it, no matter how much I wished it were possible.

It's only yesterday that I realized that all you wanted was for things to remain as they had been. Just like I did.

It took me way too long to understand it. And that, I am truly sorry about. I just never saw I was part of your life.