Translators are a very unique race of people. We know things you're absolutely clueless about. And, well, I'll admit doctors know many things I'm clueless about, but the funny thing about translators is we know stuff you don't know about something you're convinced you've mastered completely, that is: the way you express yourself, in particular the words you use and the way you arrange them.

Let me tell you: if you're not a translator, you probably can't use the right words properly. Just trust me on that.

Having all that precious knowledge, ignored by the rest of mankind, eventually goes to our heads, in a way. So, say, when some lesser-level language person (such as a student or the lowest bidder) has their try at what we do, more often that not (but not always, I'll admit that) they suck, and, yes, we laugh. Most of the time, actually, we bitch, but sometimes we laugh. And once in a while, we laugh a hell of a lot.

Today, there was a document in which some guy had the opportunity to attend sporting events such as the Olympic Games and then did some volunteer work to give back to the sport. The problem was, the translation basically said that the guy participated in the whole list of sporting events and then volunteered in order to congratulate the sport for having given him such pleasure. (Yes, I know that's a weird choice of words, that's my very point.)

My favorite, though, was the translation of a sentence that meant that calls to some technical helpline were answered before the third ring which was put in a way that said, rather, that by the third ring the problem was solved.
Seriously, how neat would that be!!!

So yeah. If you're not one of us, we laugh at you. A lot. Just thought you should know.