Okay, so, building on thoughts from two recent posts, that is the one about my no-bullshit approach to relationships that makes me feel a deep need to bring up any elephant I (and possibly, only I) see in a room and the one about the fact that I really should start trusting my instincts instead of dismissing any intuition I can find an alternative explanation for -

I was discussing the former with Maridi recently, using a concrete example, and she clearly did not get it. She asked: "But WHY do you need to address that issue so much? What's going to be changed after you do?" And I didn't really have an answer, except that I sometimes I just feel like if I don't, I'm being dishonest.

I kept thinking about it, and after a while, it occured to me - maybe I need to address the elephant because I don't trust my instincts enough.

I mean, if there is an elephant between you and me, technically, I see it, and you see it. And if we both see it - then Maridi is right, it would serve absolutely no purpose for me to bring it up. The only reason I would have to do so would be to make sure that I am not the only one to see that elephant. And as elephants rarely go unnoticed, I really shouldn't have to wonder - unless I've turned second-guessing myself into a habit, or a hobby, of mine.

And I've paid a very high price for excessive honesty before, which just reinforces that new idea: maybe all I really need is to acknowledge the elephant on my own, and just know that the acknowledgement was done by all parties.

And let it go.