Today is October 15, and I still don't have the words. You are far, you are gone, but still you are here, and you are close.

Yesterday was October 14, but oddly enough, that is when the words came. For the first time. I didn't think it was ever happening. I thought I was empty forever. I thought I was silent forever.

But maybe it's a long, long climb, is all.

"Climb over the church wall" he said 

"You can feed the koi in the pond 

Climb over the church wall in your Sunday dress 

Be sure to feed the koi in the pond" 

It's a long long climb going back in time 

 All of me wants to be... believe 

That the angels will find me 

Saint Veronica 

All of me wants to be... believe 

That somehow you will save me 

Saint Veronica 

 He said "Kneel before your judges in reverence 

Your penance for the woman you'll become 

You knew if you talked there'd be a consequence 

Your sentence for the woman you'll become" 

Ten days of hell in Satan's cell 

 All of me wants to be... believe 

That the angels will find me 

Saint Veronica 

All of me wants to be... believe 

That somehow you will save me 

Saint Veronica 

Dream of dimensions 

Then cross through the veil to them 

Wrap yourself in linen holding Jesus close 

Calling Saint 

Calling Saint Saint Veronica 

 "Climb out of the belly of the beast" she said 

"Become a witness out of the abyss 

The temple of the soul will have to heal the flesh 

Only when you're whole can you forgive 

But it's a long long climb 

It's a long long climb"

I don't know what you were doing last night around 9:30, but I personally was getting (on a Sunday, must I remind you!) a confirmation email from Disney that the non-refundable tickets I purchased last December were refunded.