Friday, January 13, 2017

Catégorie "ben oui, j'ai 33 ans pis je me suis pas encore calmée" -
M : Quand j'ai écouté le message que tu as laissé sur ma boîte vocale, j'ai trouvé ça bizarre parce que tu parlais pas fort et tu étais toute calme!

As I said, looking back - a little too far, a little too violently, but I guess it's a risk I was willing to take.

Realizing that yes, I really did see it all, almost it all, coming, but in some instances I chose to look away, and in others I chose to trust the empty words I was surrounded by. Because they came from people I deeply cared about and because they suited my preferred version of the truth.

And wondering, in turn - am I ever going to start actually trusting my gut and stop second-guessing myself constantly?

I run off
Where the drifts get deeper
Sleeping beauty trips me with a frown
I hear a voice
"Your must learn to stand up for yourself
Cause I can't always be around"
He says
When you gonna make up your mind
When you gonna love you as much as I do
When you gonna make up your mind
Cause things are gonna change so fast

Parce que je m'ennuie d'écrire pour vrai, parce que j'ai une collègue à qui il arrive des trucs invraisemblables qui méritent vraiment d'être diffusés, parce que parfois je me fais croire que j'ai plus de temps et de motivation que j'en ai vraiment, je t'annonce, cher lectorat, la probable création d'une série inspirée de la réalité sur les tribulations de ma collègue.

Thursday, January 12, 2017

Plus je dors, plus je suis fatiguée.
Je n'y comprends rien.
À mon retour au bureau, je me suis tannée de mon grand mur beige plate et j'ai apporté de la maison des cartes postales rapportées de voyages pour les y coller. Parce que du beige partout, ça étouffe. (Ou c'est peut-être seulement moi, mais bon.)

Tantôt, je croise un collègue que je connais très peu dans le couloir. Il m'arrête, plein d'enthousiasme :

Lui : Hé, est-ce que c'est toi qui as toutes les belles cartes postales sur le mur dans ton bureau?
Moi : Oui, c'est moi! Un mur beige, j'endure pas ça.
Lui : C'est le fun, c'est beau, ça met de la couleur! Continue!

Ça m'a vraiment mise de bonne humeur.

Wednesday, January 11, 2017


Oui oui, je le savais, que je suis une mère, maintenant. Ma vie est une longue séance de négociation, j'ai arrêté de dormir et de sortir au resto ou au cinéma, je mange systématiquement mes repas, qu'ils soient supposés être froids ou chauds, tièdes, je n'ai plus une seconde à moi pour courir, mon principal loisir consiste à faire du lavage et j'ai un sérieux déficit en matière de sujets de conversation dans la catégorie "adultes".

Bref, je le savais, que je suis une mère.

Mais je viens quand même d'atteindre un autre niveau en mangeant, ce midi, mon lunch dans un plat de plastique étiqueté au nom de Coco...

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Parallelism


It's beautiful.

It's beautiful because it's not history repeating itself. Not really, and well, not at all.

It's beautiful because there is no game. And no excuses. It's beautiful because it's simple.

It's beautiful because the decisions didn't even need making, they were just an inescapable conclusion. It's beautiful because it shines a new light on my horizon and how complete and blissful it is - and how much it is exactly what I want.

It's beautiful because it's clear.

It's beautiful because it's just watching the sports cars, and enjoying the race. And waiting until they slow down, because they will, and even that is part of what makes it all the more beautiful.

It's beautiful because it's easy.

And it's beautiful because when the race is over, everything will still be in the same place and then I can continue to rely on that perfection that would not exist if not for the parallelism.

Sunday, January 08, 2017

Lately, I've been looking back. I'm not sure what the exact trigger was. I'm not even sure what I'm trying to accomplish. I think I'm just remembering. And, in some respects, making sure I remember.

And somehow, I thought I had more to say about that. But it seems I don't.

Which makes sense; I haven't written in so long, I'm clearly rusty. I used to have words popping up and whirling around in my head all the time. Sometimes, I would have to wait, but they would always come. Effortlessly.

The same was true for the metaphors. However, a lot of my metaphors were inspired from music - which leads me to wonder how much of an impact the fact that I haven't had time to stop and listen to music in a while has had on my inspiration.