Q. How do you win a contest you didn't even participate in ?
A. Just have my mother as yours.

Q. How can winning a contest be a bad thing ?
A. When you win 25$ worth of clothes in a 14+ store. (In case you're wondering, no, I don't wear a size 14 or over, thank you very much)

Q.How do you know someone is mentally weak ?
A. When they come to you to apologize for almost losing their temper when you're the one who came to them and called them shit. Oui, mon prof de physique est venu s'excuser, hier après-midi !