Sunday, October 15, 2006

Another piece of writing, barely edited, from a hell of a while back. Please note that the title was that of the entry and not of the text. Because yes, there is a difference.

I just close my eyes and...

November 12, 2001

One day I'll be happy.
One day I'll be some kind of queen. I'll be confident in life. I'll be loved, and I'll matter. One day I'll be beautiful. One day I'll be someone.
One day I'll figure out how to get a hold of my destiny. And I'll change it. I'll draw this big U-turn on it. I'll make up a whole new, different, worthy life. One day everything'll turn around.
One day I'll remember what it is like to be, think and act normally. And I'll do it. One day everything will be just like it was before.
One day I'll suddenly understand where I went wrong. I'll figure out a way to erase all those painful years, and I'll take another path. One day today will just be like a nightmare: just a fleeing memory before the moment you wake up, slightly scary but not important 'cuz you know you're safe, a blurry vision of something that doesn't make any sense. One day my life will be happy.
One day today will be just some dark, hidden secret that even I will have almost forgotten. And I'll bury it in some far, far away, unheard of, imaginary place so no one can ever dig it up and have it hurt more people. One day the world will be a nice place to be in.
One day today will be just a distant image of another life, in another land. A small mistake. A short, unimportant time when I was lost and wandered aimlessly - but at the end of which I found the light. And found myself. A time when I decided to take the more complicated path, but a path that was never very far from the right one... because in the end the paths cross and whatever way you chose, you end up at the exact same place.
One day things will be as they would've been if I had not gone completely insane one day.

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