Going up or down the stairs; down the line it doesn't really matter because up is harder and down is easier and each is positive in a distinct way.

Thinking - you're lying because I know you can be much better than that; you're lying because I know you can take way more than that and if I only were stronger, I'd give you twice as much to take.

Wondering - what am I doing? What if they were watching? Would they even begin to suspect?

Floating away and seeing myself her from a few feet high, wondering - what is she doing? What if she knew I'm watching her?

And back to the living room, out of breath, feeling just enough pain to make it okay and just hoping, waiting for the morning.