I was numb and trying to focus on everything at once, so it's no wonder I let the phrase slide, although it did register oddly - "I don't know when that changed".

I was numb and longing for truth, but the words just didn't fit. By then I had been breathing and crawling through lies for months, and I had been forced to take off my blindfold to look at things just the way they were.

But I am one to give the benefit of the doubt. So I did.

Even now, I am unable to entirely dismiss that phrase.

So I don't really believe that outcome stemmed from anything other than purposefulness; but if it did, then it's clear that things changed when I stopped having a reason not to allow them to.

And to me, that would be hitting a new low on the "sick" scale.