Two weeks ago, I think, I somehow got this big bruise on my right inner thigh. Pretty puzzling, but I'm used to getting bruises in weird places for no apparent reason.

Yesterday I noticed that an area on my left inner thigh hurt when I laid my hand on it.
This morning I checked, and ladies and gentlemen, no, I don't have A bruise there, I have FIVE OR SIX right next to each other forming a cute little line of bruises!

What the...?