One day, when I was in pre-nursery school, I must've been 3 or 4, I was outside playing. Suddenly, this ball came rolling my way and I kicked it back in the direction of the kids who were using it.

Except that I didn't see that other kid running after the ball, and when I saw him, it was too late to stop my move and I winded up kicking in the head. Of course he started crying and because I had never intended to kick him and also because the previous week we had been taught about apologies, I said : "Oh, I'm sorry!"

And do you know what happened then?

Absolutely nothing.

The kid had no reaction at all, he just kept on bawling, and I stared at him, totally puzzled because how could he keep crying when I had just apologized to him? I looked at him for a few seconds, not knowing what to do, then I walked away. Of course, one of the teachers caught up with me a few seconds later, dragging the poor kid by the arm, and asked me to apologize. I said I already had and she went away.

That day I understood that apologies didn't make the pain go away.

I was 3 or 4.