After yet another night is shamefully failed and I sit there chewing every last bit of nail I've got left and I pay - there are time I can still hear her.

I choose you, she said. It wasn't supposed to be the last thing she said to me, but it turned out to be, because -
Itwasalie itwasalie itwasalie; the words whirl around in my head faster and faster, louder and louder. It was a lie, just a fucking show, and by god I never suspected it was possible to feel so much disgust for one person.

It's still there.
No more pain, no more hate - but the anger and the powerlessness, they are painted on my walls.

So I chew up those nails.